I love you Mom

This picture is the last Mother's Day I had with my mom.

This is at the cemetary the day we buried her.
This is her family. Isn't she beautiful in that picture with my dad? The picture of the newborn baby is Sydnei. She was born September 15th, we think Mom went to help Syd make it here alive. Long story I'll get into later.

This post might bore a lot of you so please feel free to ignore it. I just need to post this for journal purposes. Today, September 14 is the anniversary of loosing my best friend. Not a good day for me. I have tried to be strong and not cry but I just can't help it. I loved that lady so much. Ever since she has been gone there is an emptiness in my heart. Growing up a girl in a small town was very hard. There was drama all the time. There was cliques and if you didn't have the right name or the right body you just didn't fit in. I had some friends that I could trust but mostly the only person that I could truly talk to was my mom. She was my best friend. While the "cool" kids were having their parties or get togethers I was with my mom in Richfield hanging out with her and Grandma and Aunt D. Whenever I had a problem she was the person I went to. She was the rock of my life. She was the one person that I knew I could count on no matter what. When I got the call from her that said that she couldn't walk and could I come home from Snow to help her get out of bed I knew that was the beginning of her suffering. How she stayed strong through all the pain she was in I'll never know. How she could keep a smile on her face and tell me everything was ok I'll never know. She had so much faith. She knew that she would be reunited with Grandma and lived her life so that she would make it to the "top"! Near the end of her life we would have talks about how it was going to be without her. She once told me that she would never leave me and no matter how bad I missed her I just had to remember that she would be watching over me. She told me that I would find comfort in my dreams because whenever she missed Grandma too much she would have dreams of her. She told me no matter what I had to stay strong for my kids and remind them everyday how much she loved them. She told me that it would seem like forever before I get to see her again but to her it would be just minutes. She told me to always stay true to the Church and live so that I will be able to see her again. So Mom, I hope you are watching over me. I hope that I am keeping my promises to you. I hope you are no longer in pain and that Heaven is everything we think it is. I hope that I will be able to be as strong as you were and I hope that I can be the kind of mom you were. I miss you more than I can explain. My heart hurts and longs for your hug. But for you I am trying to be strong. I pick up the phone and dial your number and then it hits me that you won't pick up. Then I say a prayer and ask Heavenly Father to tell you hi and I love you. Thank you for being the kind of mom you were. Thank you for being my best friend and always loving me even though I was a brat. Thank you for being the kind of grandma you were. You made an impact on my kids lives and I will forever be grateful for that. Thank you for taking care of my boys in heaven. I know they are with you and that is what comforts me. I love you mom and I miss you so much!