Emotions

So the time is drawing near for my in-laws to go back to New Zealand. My mother-in-law has been with us for 6 months and my father-in-law and niece have been with us for 3 months. I am not looking forward to them leaving. I wish they could stay forever. Today Tevita and I bought some boxes for them to pack a lot of stuff to take back with them. My mother-in-law loves to shop here in America because things are so expensive in New Zealand. So, Sipola has been really upset all night. She doesn't like that Grandma is getting ready to leave. I was helping pack and all of a sudden here comes Pola with two garbage bags full of clothes and a back pack with books and coloring books. I was so sad to tell her that she couldn't go. She kept asking why. I told her she doesn't have a passport or a ticket. So, she has been crying and crying saying how bad she is going to miss her grandma. I'm not looking forward to Tuesday at all. It is always so emotional taking them back and if the emotions have already started now, what's it going to be like on Tuesday? My mother-in-law has wanted to see the pictures of the twins ever since she got here. I have kept putting it off because I didn't know if I was emotionally ready to see them yet. I knew she needed to see them so tonight I finally got the CD out and looked. As I saw my beautiful little boys I got teary eyed and longed to hold them. All the emotions swept over me again. My father-in-law couldn't look for very long and my mother-in-law reminded me that they would be little boys now. It has almost been a year since they came. There hasn't been a day go by that I don't think about them. It is still hard for me to be around twins. I'm ok with babies but the twins bring tears to my eyes. I hope my boys are ok. I hope their older brother, Spencer, is taking good care of them. I wish so much that I would have been holding them now instead of looking at their precious little faces on the computer. So much has happened in this past year and I am grateful for the experiences that I have been through. I know I am a stronger person for all of it but tonight I plan on crying and holding the kids I have here with me. I'm going to miss my Tongan family so much and hope they know how much I love and appreciate them.

Sipola punching

Yesterday Vita picked the kids up from school. Lia told him that Sipola got in trouble. Vita asked her what happened and Lia said she didn't know all the details, just that Pola had punched somebody. So, Vita calls Pola into the living room and asked her if she punched a boy or a girl. Pola said, "How did you know?" Vita said, "Magic, was it a boy or a girl?" Pola told him it was a boy and told him the name. Vita asked her why she punched him. She said, "I asked him nicely to give me back the eraser that Aunt Jaquelly gave me but he wouldn't so I had to punch him to get it back."Vita told her that its not good to punch to solve our problems and she said,"But it worked!" Oh Pola, I think this is just the beginning! I had a hard time keeping a straight face as Vita was telling me this story. For those of you who know Pola can't you just see this whole thing taking place? We have always known that she is our little fighter. Before Vita and I had kids I used to say, "the poor things won't have a chance...they have a red head for a mom and a Tongan for a dad so I'm sure they are going to have tempers!" Sipola usually does really well holding her temper unless you really make her mad. From this I learned that people don't mess with things that are important to her! I know it was just an eraser but to her, it is extremely special because it was from her Aunt Jaquelly! We love you so much Pola and even though it was wrong, I'm glad you stood up for yourself and didn't let him push you around!

Angel/Devil

OK, so in November I decided that I was going to join Weight Watchers and loose some weight. I did really well for a minute and lost 20 lbs. Then I slacked. I didn't do anything over the holidays and just started again three weeks ago. I weighed in and luckily I hadn't put the twenty pounds back on. I stayed the same. For the last two weeks I have been getting up every morning at 5:40am and going to work out. One of the ladies in town has made her downstairs a gym and there are about 8 of us that go and work out every morning. Since doing this I have lost 8 lbs. So, I have two more pounds to go and I will have lost 30 lbs since November. This all sounds really good huh? Well, I watch the Biggest Looser and they loose 30 lbs in 2 weeks. I watch all these people that have surgery and they are so skinny so fast. I have contemplated having surgery but my husband says it is unnecessary and doesn't want me to have it. Today when my alarm went off at 5:40am I groaned. I felt like I had the devil sitting on one shoulder saying just roll over and go back to bed. It is cold outside and you hate the cold. Tevita is so warm and you don't want to leave him. You can always go again on Monday, just take today off. You are sore from yesterday. You are tired and really don't want to go. On the other shoulder was the angel saying you need to go. Why give up and not go? You can go back to bed after you get the kids off to school. You need to keep loosing weight and it's not going to come off on its own. You want to live long to see your grandkids. You can wear a jacket and you're not that cold for too long. You must conquer that devil!!! So, reluctantly I got myself up out of bed and headed for the journey of weight loss. It is so discouraging that I have to go through this every morning. Will it ever stop??? I look to those girls at workout to help me get through this. So much of me wants to say I give up because it is such a long journey and I wonder if I will ever get to the size I want to. I know I will never be super skinny and that is not what I want. I just want to be healthy for my family and I want to walk into any kind of store and put on a pair of jeans and have them fit me. I just don't understand why I know what I want and I know what I have to do but it is so hard. Growing up I never dared eat. I was always worried that my "friends" were making fun of me and saying that I shouldn't eat because I was already fat. In fact, I could name quite a few of them that I remember their comments still to this day. I have been to several weight loss experts and they all say the same thing...you have to eat or you'll never loose weight. But still to this day I hear those comments so it is a constant battle of eating all my points. Why does this have to be so hard??? I know that everything in life is hard and we have to stay strong, but sometimes I just feel like giving in to that devil and throwing my hands in the air and giving up. Then I have somebody say something like put a picture of what you want to look like and look at it whenever you want to give up. Or somebody saying "Good job! Keep it up!" and it makes me want to keep going. I know I can't do this alone so to my friends that keep encouraging me, I thank you. Please know that your kind words are what is getting me through this journey. I want to listen to the angel and not the devil and hopefully I will be successful:)

Braxton's Basketball

This year Braxton wanted to play basketball instead of wrestle. We was surprised but we let him do it anyway. I personally didn't know how he was going to do because of his size but I was surprised. He did really well. Brad is his coach and he did really good teaching Braxton how to play. The first game I watched, Brax didn't play much and when he did he acted like he didn't know what was going on. I asked him after the game what happened and he said, "Mom, I don't know how to play. I don't know the rules, I don't know where I'm supposed to go, I just don't know." He was really discouraged but kept on going. Saturday was his last game. What an improvement! He got a lot more playing time than in the beginning and he is learning so much. I am actually sad that it ended. He loves the exercise and has asked Tevita to go with him early in the morning to exercise. In fact, I thought it was so cute. Yesterday he saw me getting ready to go exercise. He asked me where I was going and I told him. He said, "You're so lucky!" I just laughed because I sure didn't think I was lucky. If he only knew the fight in my head about going! But he is committed to go and even asked if he could come with me. I told him sorry, but I go with the ladies. So Tevita and him are going to be going at 6 am and I am going with the ladies. He is really excited and I am excited that he wants to do it! Anyways, his basketball season is over :( and now he just wants to get ready for baseball. Congrats on doing such a good job Braxton! We are proud of you and love you so much!

Any Suggestions?

Here is my little sleeping princess. I need any suggestions from all my friends and family. My little girl does not like to sleep in her own bed! It seems as though my bed is more comfortable! Now, I don't know if it's my bed or my hair that she is there for but it is getting so hard! Today I woke up to her feet on my face. I love her dearly but I think it is time for her to stay in her own bed. Any suggestions????

Kids

This is what happens when the kids get a hold of the camera without any parental supervision!