Emotions

So the time is drawing near for my in-laws to go back to New Zealand. My mother-in-law has been with us for 6 months and my father-in-law and niece have been with us for 3 months. I am not looking forward to them leaving. I wish they could stay forever. Today Tevita and I bought some boxes for them to pack a lot of stuff to take back with them. My mother-in-law loves to shop here in America because things are so expensive in New Zealand. So, Sipola has been really upset all night. She doesn't like that Grandma is getting ready to leave. I was helping pack and all of a sudden here comes Pola with two garbage bags full of clothes and a back pack with books and coloring books. I was so sad to tell her that she couldn't go. She kept asking why. I told her she doesn't have a passport or a ticket. So, she has been crying and crying saying how bad she is going to miss her grandma. I'm not looking forward to Tuesday at all. It is always so emotional taking them back and if the emotions have already started now, what's it going to be like on Tuesday? My mother-in-law has wanted to see the pictures of the twins ever since she got here. I have kept putting it off because I didn't know if I was emotionally ready to see them yet. I knew she needed to see them so tonight I finally got the CD out and looked. As I saw my beautiful little boys I got teary eyed and longed to hold them. All the emotions swept over me again. My father-in-law couldn't look for very long and my mother-in-law reminded me that they would be little boys now. It has almost been a year since they came. There hasn't been a day go by that I don't think about them. It is still hard for me to be around twins. I'm ok with babies but the twins bring tears to my eyes. I hope my boys are ok. I hope their older brother, Spencer, is taking good care of them. I wish so much that I would have been holding them now instead of looking at their precious little faces on the computer. So much has happened in this past year and I am grateful for the experiences that I have been through. I know I am a stronger person for all of it but tonight I plan on crying and holding the kids I have here with me. I'm going to miss my Tongan family so much and hope they know how much I love and appreciate them.