Baby Boys

Tevita and I arrived at the hospital at 7:05am on Thursday. I got checked in and then headed to room 115, the same room Lia and Spencer were born (I don't want to deliver in this room ever again!!!). My nurse tried putting in the IV, she was unsuccessful. She had a different nurse, Blaine, come in and he was able to get it in. This was the worst pain of the day. Dr. Brown came in and we talked and then I received the medicine. They told me it would be a while before I would deliver the twins but I didn't realize it was going to be such a long wait. My grandpa and his wife came to visit at about 3:45pm. We had a really good visit with them and I was sitting up on the bed. When they left I layed back on the bed and I told Tevita that I thought my water broke. I called the nurse in and yep, it had broke. With this came some extreme tears from me. All I could think was that this is usually a very happy time in a mother's life but it wasn't happy at all for me. This meant that I would be loosing two of my kids and it hit me very hard. At 4:45pm our first son, Kafa, was delivered. He had a perfect little body. Every part of him was there, and when I say perfect, that is what I mean. He had all his fingers, all his toes, his ears, his nose, his mouth, etc. etc. The only problem was that he wasn't alive and he was so little. He fit on a napkin and Tevita and I just held him. This was such an emotional time for me. I thought I would deliver the next one pretty quick, but that was not the case. Our second son, Finau, was born at 7:50pm. He was bigger than Kafa. He had a bigger head, his tummy was bigger, and it was evident that twin to twin transfusion had taken place. He was definitely the stronger one that had taken the nutrients and blood. He was also perfect. Every part of him was there and he was a little bigger. We also held him on a napkin. The nurse made a little bed for them and that meant a lot to Tevita and I. After I had him, I got really nervous. I was bleeding really bad and I asked the nurse if I was ok. I was thankful for her honesty as she said, "No, this is not good. I'm not going to lie to you. We have to do something quick or it's not going to go good". She ran to call Dr. Brown and the OR crew and the ultrasound tech. The ultrasound showed that I had a rupture and also the placenta was still hanging on. I had to have an emergency D&C. I was so scared to go into surgery. My dad and Tevita gave me a wonderful blessing. Let me just say how thankful I am for the priesthood in my life and knowing that the priesthood in my family are worthy to give me a blessing at a second's notice. The blessing was so touching and off to surgery I went. The surgery went well and I was brought back to the room a little after 10pm. I have had so many emotions running through me but I think I am going to be ok. I know that Heavenly Father needed my sons to help him. I know they needed those perfect little bodies and didn't need to be put to the test. I know that all 3 of my sons are in Heaven with my mom and that comforts me. I know she is taking good care of all of them. Yes, I am so sorry that I didn't get to meet them and learn their personalities. Yes, I am sorry that they didn't get to play with their brother and sisters here. Yes, I am still crying whenever I talk about them, but I am ok. My family, friends, and especially my husband have helped me so much. We have learned so much through this experience. I feel so much closer to Tevita and the kids. Heather, if you are reading this, I want you to know how much I appreciate your friendship and help during this time. It meant so much to me that I didn't have to worry about my kids and I knew they were being loved while I wasn't with them. Dad, Aunt D, and Stacy, thank you so much for being there with us. It meant a lot to us and we can never thank you enough. Aunt D, I know you will know what I am talking about, so, thank you for being "my mom" during that time (you know what I am talking about). This is going on and on and I am sorry for how long it is. I just wanted you all to know of our experience and please know that we are going to be ok. Seeing our perfect little boys helped us a little to understand and we know we will be with them again. Thank you all for your prayers. We really do love and appreciate all of you!