I miss Mom

My friend started a blog. One of her friends commented that there is somewhere that will bind your blogs so you can have a journal. I thought this was a great idea and it got me thinking that I should write things down that I don't want to forget and hopefully I will be able to find this place that she was talking about. Anyways, a few of you I have already told this but I need to write it down. So, as we all know we are going to have another baby. With this pregnancy has come a lot of emotional experiences for me. First of all, this is the first pregnancy without Mom being here. I don't like going through it without her but it is something I have to do. I find myself crying everyday, sometimes I don't even know why. I have been really sick throughout this one also. In times past, I would go to mom's house and she would take care of me. This time I just find myself praying a lot. When I say a lot, I mean a lot. I sometimes think I am going to drive Heavenly Father nuts with all my prayers. I finally broke down and asked Vita for a blessing. After, I have felt somewhat better. Can I just say how thankful I am for a husband who is able to give a blessing whenever we need one? I have had dreams of mom now for the past two weeks. I think it is her way of letting me know that she is here with me through this one. I am sure that I am driving Tevita nuts and I know it is not easy for him to see me so sick all the time. I hope he knows how truly grateful I am for him and the support he gives me. I made him take me to the cemetary today and we just sat and cried for a few minutes. I know that this is by far the hardest one I have had to go through, not the sickest, but the hardest because mom is not here. Let me just say that I truly love the example that my mom was to me. She was my best friend and I miss her more than anything. I miss her hugs, I miss her hands, I miss her smile...I miss the comfort that she was to me. I only hope that I can be as good of a mom to my kids as she was to us. I know that everything will be ok. I can feel it. I know that I have the support of my family that is here and I am thankful for that. I know that Mom is happy now. I have questioned that but after the last two weeks I know in my heart that she is truly happy. She is not suffering anymore and for that I am grateful. I am so thankful for our knowledge that Families can be together Forever.