Just thinking

I have a ton that I want to blog about. I have a list that I am writing so that I will remember what I need to blog. However, when I took my computer to the "fix it shop" they sent it home to me without the program to download my pictures. I think that is what happened anyways. I just don't know. I am waiting for my husband to have 5 minutes of free time to check it out. Anyways, I have been thinking so I thought I might blog a little without a picture. I went to lunch with my sister-in-law and her kids on Monday. We were talking about how fast summer has gone by. It is so true. I had so much planned that I wanted to get done this summer and it seems like I am running out of days and not everything is getting done. I have about 13 weeks left in my pregnancy. That is crazy to me. I have not bought one thing for this child. My friend, Heather, gave me some clothes for him and that is it. We are getting so excited to have him join our family, but we sure aren't prepared. Both Vita and I have been too nervous to buy anything for him. We both say that we should make sure he makes it here safely and then buy afterwards. But we finally set a time that Vita needs to paint his room. It's even on the calendar so we will get it done! It seems like once football season starts everything has to go on the calendar or we won't get anything done. We were talking with the kids today about when the baby gets here and how we are going to have to take him out into public before we did with our other kids. Vita and I don't like to take our babies out into public until after they are blessed. But with this little one, we aren't going to be able to do that. We have so many football games and soccer games that we are going to have to go to. The conversation made me cry.(what doesn't make me cry these days?) In the past, I would drop the new baby off with mom and she would sit with him/her on her chest the whole time I was gone. This time, that can't happen. I told my kids that I was so sad that this little one wouldn't get to know grandma. Braxton said, "Mom, he already knows her. He has been with her in heaven all this time and she is going to be so sad when he comes to be with us. She is going to miss him." What a kid. He is right. I know that my mom has been watching over my little ones in heaven. I know she is going to be so sad to see him leave her. But I am so thankful for the knowledge that we are all going to be together one day. I wish that my mom was still here. I wish I could call her and ask her questions like I have in the past. I wish we were picking out the pattern for his blessing afaghan. I need to get one made but everytime I go to the store to buy the yarn, I just break down and can't bring myself to buy it. My mom made all the afaghans and blessing dresses. That was her job. How can I make one for this little guy and have it be as special as my other kids? I'm sorry about this post. Just some days I miss her more than anything. I saw my Aunt D today and my first thought was, "mom should be with her, they should be running errands together." Today Vita and I had a talk with each one of our kids. We like to check up on them and see how they are doing every so often. Vita was talking with Lia and I couldn't control my tears. My little girl misses her twin brother. She talks about him all the time but today she actually expressed that she misses him and wishes he would have made it. Vita said, "I know you two would have been best friends." She just cried and said, "maybe one day." Life sure is interesting. I love these kids so much and so thankful that they have been able to be so strong with all the loss in their lives. Well, enough rambling for now. Oh, I do need to tell my dad how much I love him and appreciate him for everything. Hopefully pictures and fun posts are soon to come.